This week has been an off week. Well, sort of. We had a great informal webinar on Sunday and for those of us that opted to, we attended Lori and Lucinda’s Finding Your Purpose webinars. Last year, I only made one of the sessions and knew I missed out.
This year, I made the time, but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for (U2 had a profound influence on me in my youth!). Bottom line, I don’t think I’m giving myself due credit nor do I feel I’m completely “getting it,” and I’ve spent a few days reflecting (my sit to the rest of you!) on this and something is definitely missing. I’m trying too hard, that I know. Since my “incident” in October, I’m looking at life with new eyes, seeing more than what is visible out there …. time to take a pause on the process until I can give it my all.
Haanel asked that we picture a square, visualizing it beginning with two horizontal lines, then adding two vertical lines to each end to make a square. Then we are to visualize a circle within the square. No problem to this point. Next, we are to draw the point of the circled toward us, and we should see a cone on a square base. Got it. I can visualize it. I can see it. Our final task is to see it in different colors. Not there yet. My guide suggested closing my eyes during the exercise, I see my cone within the square clearer yet struggling to change the colors. I’m not going to stress over it – I have the rest of my life to perfect this!
I decided to try something new this week. Hoping to make it a habit. No way to know till I begin, and why procrastinate. Let’s see how well I can be accountable to myself!
This week we are spending time with power. We can’t truly appreciate the power within Haanel states without spending time thinking of our definite purpose. Thinking (concentrated thought) is energy. SO … I’ve decided I’m going to up my power game! How? Not only am I thinking about my job, but I’m choosing to write about it here. As I write, I’ll begin to talk about it (literally and figuratively) and the more energy I build up the more power I have and I’ll be able to do even more! Another way to put this is that I’m going to really start to feed my subconscious with the food it needs to help me grow.
I spend my days designing things. Pieces of furniture or units thereof for clients to store their possessions in and become better organized. Been doing this for a lifetime – organizing (not the designing part I just mentioned). I’m a big-picture kind of girl – and I see beyond what I’ve been charged to do. Always have. Always will. I’m a born leader. From the earliest time I can reflect upon, I was the one gathering “the troops,” as I got older I was the one to make things happen. During my former career, I led departments then organizations and have been able to maintain my sight past what is in front of my nose. When I burned out in that career, I turned my hobby of rearranging furniture in spaces into my second career designing the things I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph. I am lucky.
Now it’s time to ramp that up. I need my subconscious to start percolating at a more frequent vibration as I formulate a plan to take me to my next chapter.
Literally, every time I walk into a space, I feel it. Honest-to-God feel it. It truly is instinctive within me. And I’m blessed to have this gift. So I need to figure out how to share this with others, and monetize this too! The latter will come – once I set my thoughts constructively to harness the mightiest of all minds – that of the Universal Mind.
So I use my sits this week to harness this power. And I will continue to do so. And this week isn’t so easy cause I’m supposed to not have any thoughts, and as Haanel predicted, thoughts do enter my mind, a lot! Rather than letting those thoughts carry me away down a path I’m not interested in following, I direct myself to think of my challenge. As these thoughts come into my mind, I ask that they leave me now so I can concentrate on nothing. Just like “the man” asked. I’m getting better at it!
I am SO VERY GLAD I chose to participate “all-in” again this year. Catching on to a surreal amount of information, thought processes and vibes than I did in 2019.
Seeing is a physical action – an action of the world without. Meanwhile, visualization is a product of our imagination – you know – the world within. BAM! HUGE revelation. My thinking minds knows what I visualize will manifest, and I “heard” it last year, but not until I TOTALLY caught on to this week’s (9-15) statement by none other than Mr. Haanel did I “get” it! SLAM DUNK!
Let’s face it – we don’t attract what we want. It doesn’t work that way. Our wants are part of our conscious mind. We attract what we are in harmony with. Bottom line is that the thoughts that become fixed in our subconscious mind ultimately manifest. IF we give out such thoughts. Give more to get more. How much simpler can this get?!?
My positive mental attitude continues to grow. And I am getting better with substituting those negative thoughts with my daily dose of the mental diet – a constant work in action! The Law of Substitution reigns. Well, actually I believe the Law of Growth truly reigns and I’m on my way to my growth. Who could possibly ask for more.
I didn’t mean to do it, but I fell into following the clock (and the golden dollar) and failed to submit my week 7 blog. On Sunday, when I started week 8 I realized this and quickly started to admonish me. Then I took a breath, reminded myself I’m human and I was doing my best under the circumstances I was dealing with. Then I let it go.
My recoding was updated throughout the year, even after we ended MKE in the spring. I kept reading and reviewing and adding to my recording. I do continue to look for that dawn of enlightenment with Emerson. As with most of us, I had a couple of days success with the mental diet and then flubbed it. So, I started again! And again and again. And each time I get better. This has become part of me now and I’m even catching myself in some of my negative thinking as I say or think the thought and these days I’m making corrections to what I blurted out almost as soon as I speak them. I’m getting better on that too. Being my own observer has assisted me in this growth!
This week, on Sunday as a matter of fact, I did something I haven’t done in more years than I can remember. I picked up a book. A physical book – not a book on my Kindle, reading it from my phone. Something I turned paper pages on. And I enjoyed it thoroughly!!! I had caught my old DNA trying to resurface and was starting to experience some anxiety so I decided to do some reading for pleasure. Best gift I could have given myself. I read for an hour, calmed down, then went to bed to get my nighttime routine accomplished. And thus far, I’ve repeated this exercise nightly since then. I like it. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to read for the pleasure of reading the old fashioned way. Here’s to hoping a new habit is developing.
No television, no streaming, no recorded Dragnet, Columbo or Adam 12. And I’m still alive to write about it! I value me more each day, why waste my time getting sucked into the vortex known as watching television – between all the sensationalism and commercials – negativity must exit my life. What a great way to celebrate me!
Had a couple of wrenches thrown in my path and I’m maintaining my positive mental attitude. Haanel has it right, real power comes from within. And sometimes technology gets the better of me, today I couldn’t figure out how to add some photos within my post. After half an hour I conceded I don’t have it in me this week. Regardless, it’s really sharing about what we’re experiencing, right?!?
I haven’t had much time to manifest this week. No – hold on, that isn’t true. l’ve had LOTS of time to manifest just haven’t been awake enough to do so.
My reflections this week (and since discharge from the hospital) revolve around why, during my body betraying me, I didn’t fear dying. Why was I terrified of living, and living with being paralyzed? Truly, I was petrified of living like my paternal grandparents or paternal uncle with limited speech and limited physical ability. Don’t have the answer completely crystalized in my mind yet, but well on my way to making peace with this.
Should I be bummed when I am not completely thrust into manifesting my true purpose? No. I am human and I am perfect, as perfect as possible in my journey at this point in time within this particular world I live in. I work hard at shedding imperfect thoughts, keep to my routines and have been sidetracked. And that’s okay. I must honor these feelings and thoughts if I am to move on. Almost there. And I haven’t shirked my duties to myself. I’m keeping my promises!
Terribly late with these combined posts – kind of lost track of time as I was hospitalized most of week 4.
And I’m fortunate. God and the universe were sending me a message, a lesson to learn, I have faith I’ll figure it out – and I’ve learned to have patience these days to allow things to happen when it’s the right time.
So, week 4 was spent hooked up to IVs, bloodwork and vitals taken 3 times/day and lots of intermittent, yet DEEP sleep. I didn’t have the chapter with me, nor did I have TGS – something about being whisked away in an ambulance when you weren’t planning on it – doesn’t allow you much time time think cause my mind was focused on surviving at that point! I did, however, reflect (sit) MUCH. And NOT once, nope, not a once, did I feel lonely in my secluded hospital room with the door closed (I liked some of the new measures in place at my local hospital thanks to the pandemic, hope they keep them all!). The gentleman in the room next to mind screamed night and day. The staff were ragged over trying to get him to use the call button. I wasn’t, thanks to all I learned last year, I was happy to hear him scream. Was it pleasant? Nope. But I was happy to be there and to be able to hear him. LJ continues to grow! After 2 days I found out he had suffered a stroke. No wonder he was yelling all the time: his speech was impaired, obviously he had physical limitations to the stroke or he wouldn’t have been in there throughout the duration of my stay, he probably lived alone and needed monitoring, and most importantly I came to realize – he probably didn’t have full command of his faculties.
Interesting side-note here. Once I was discharged, I was at my weekly acupuncture appointment. After my doctor (and he is multi-disciplined, licensed physician and master at various eastern philosophies) starting to take the needles out, he asked me if I had been meditating, to wit I replied, of course. He then told me he knew I was, normally my mind is racing to and for and today he could feel I was in a deep state! This doesn’t happen with every sit for me, but I’m getting better all the time (old Laura would have – and did – get frustrated for not having “mastered” mental freedom in a week) and proud of it. SO … as I tried to catch up with my reading (which hasn’t been easy cause I’m STILL sleeping MUCH), I realized I did accomplish parts of Chapter 4 – so there Mr. Haanel!
I returned to work – albeit part time – only taking 1 appointment a day last Monday. I am literally and figuratively EXHAUSTED. And behind. Right now, I am taking care of physical me first, then work, then tending to MKE duties. This is first time (Sunday morning) I’ve sat at my computer for more than 15 minutes. But I promised myself I would get this blog done. One step at a time, I remind myself.
I have been working hard to create positive thoughts and practice the Law of Substitution EACH and EVERY time I begin to worry about a paycheck (I work on commission only). I replace these thoughts with gratitude. I am UNEQUIVOCALLY happy to be here today and typing this to you. I have been working hard to incorporate the lessons in Chapter 5 into my life this past week. It’s how I survive and how I take possession of me. I have shed the constant negative thoughts of my parents and the physical ailments that plagued them throughout their lives, I no longer give in to worrying about this. My positive thoughts are giving my body the strength it needs to heal. And I believe, truly believe, those positive thoughts did not land me in further distress when my body attacked me 2 short weeks ago – at the time, unbeknownst to me – I was critically depleted in potassium – and my body was literally shutting down on me. I was brought to the ER in time, my extremities had frozen up – contracted beyond anything I could imagine. And it could have been worse, much worse, organs would have started to fail – but wasn’t – cause I’m building on my power from within.
I swear, each time I start a new chapter I am finding things I missed before. Whether it’s something I misread, just missed, or seeing in a new light. I think I’m becoming more aware this time around as I vowed to myself I would listen to the audio of each lesson at least three times per week. I am in awe as to how much more I am learning!
Case in point, on Wednesday I was playing the audio to the lesson during my acupuncture treatment (I had asked my doctor to mute the chants I normally listen to cause I wanted to keep my promise to myself and what better circumstance to be in than on a treatment table immobile to listen, really listen to Chapter 3!) when half way through he jumped from wherever he was sitting (I keep my eyes closed to meditate) and excitedly exclaimed, “that’s what I’m doing with these needles!!!!” To wit, I advised him, I know. I get it. That’s why I’m here. I realize opening our solar plexus requires a combination of thought and physical activity and so much more. And that’s why I keep waiting for him to get a Qigong class started. I will be more powerful than ever before. And I won’t stop. I know my very life depends on this and so much more. On so many levels. So I continue. And I get better.
Rabbit rabbit – October 1st and the new LJ continues to emerge! This year I spread my wings wider than they’ve ever been sprung before. I am poised to be THE person I was meant to be.
I reject the various forms of pain I acquiesced to in the past – LJ 2.0 masters patience as never before and becomes a master to the principles given to me. Habits are refined. Failure no longer is an option – goals are being met. I continue to rise from the dust of my former self. I see more than I’ve ever seen before and I see farther.
Six months ago, when we were all asked to write a weekly blog – I read so many that began with “Today I begin a new life.” It was a powerful statement and one I felt, but didn’t acknowledge. Six months later, I truly am beginning a new life. I am overcome with emotion as to all the education that has been bestowed upon me. I was hungry for it and I swallowed it up whole. Many times I didn’t grasp the full meaning of what we were to think about, and I didn’t stop till I had a semblance of what “X” meant to me. Today I begin a new life. Literally and figuratively. I have the necessary tools to pull from my toolkit to deal with the various strange happenings around me on any given day. And I welcome whatever challenges I may come across.
I purposely held back writing this blog entry until our commencement webinar yesterday, My intent was to synthesize some thoughts that have transpired over the past couple of weeks. We, as a society, are adjusting to our new normal. I have had the pleasure and honor to be adjusting to my new normal for the past six months. I will not allow fear over Covid-19 take over my thoughts. It shall not ruin my health. I will conduct myself with common sense.
Week 2 of completely working from home. Appointments at clients’ homes are now a distant memory. Infrequent trips to the grocery store become the highlight of my week. Walks with Gustav are truly turning out to be “the” social activity in the neighborhood – dog owners congregate (I secretly believe we are all watching through our windows and pounce outside when we see another walking their dog) to let the canines socialize. Yeah – sure, whatever you want to call it, go for it! I know we are craving human contact, you know – the in-person kind so we camouflage it by saying it’s for the pups!
I have the sweetest neighbor who participates in this activity, she is immuno-compromised and has been in self-imposed exile for over 3 weeks. I’m sure she’s bored. Unfortunately, it has become evident she has not much to do but watch television. No, she doesn’t stream, she watches the news. ALL DAY LONG. EVERY DAY. She has become the neighborhood pessimist. She knows I don’t watch television and quite frankly I’m sure she doesn’t believe it, and that’s okay, but when she runs up to us with the latest negative news flash – well, I just disconnect. I’ve asked her on several occasions to not bother letting me know as I cannot control any of this. Well, this morning I lost it. Yup. She started another sentence with “I’d hate to be …..” and I cut her off and told then don’t be. Fractions of my old DNA spewed out yet I’m actually proud of my choice of words – in my previous life it would not have been nice and would have spewed off a litany of expletives. I cut myself off and it felt good!
Another week under the belt in our new normal. I am seeing people walk by my villa whom I’ve never seen before. Certainly, I’m sitting in my office at different times of the day than usual, for longer periods of time, which accounts for some of this activity, yet there are neighbors I know who are coming out and walking and enjoying what nature has to provide. I wrote about having faith in my last blog and it’s truly magnificent to see such activity from my desk!
I’m capitalizing on this time away from the day job to continue to work on me. Revisiting some of the old webinars, FINALLY completing my soundtrack in audacity (more thanks than you can ever accept Derwin), and pushing it to the limit with Go90Grow. My goal it to accelerate my learning while I have the time available to me. But I’ve encountered a problem – being at my computer daily for 4-6 hours and furiously taking notes is taking a toll on my body. I was smart enough to raise the computer 10 inches so I won’t be bending forward, and I am trying to be as cognizant as possible to not slouch my shoulders or back while at my desk as I work, but I didn’t take into account my arthritis. I work with those “hingamajiggies” on my pencils and pens to assist my throbbing joints but the frantic pace I’m keeping is starting to physically hurt me. My hands and fingers are sore beyond words. I’m honestly not too sure what to do about it. But, I go on nonetheless.
I AM LIVING IN THE MOMENT and I won’t apologize for that anymore!
What was the name of the movie Mark ran in our last webinar? You know, the one where that guy is talking to Meryl Streep about the bees pollinating? I guess I’m zoning in on my flower and I’m not going to let anything get in my way!
Everything IS possible. IT is in ME. I am going to find my way.
Six months ago I thought this would be too long a duration for such a program. With less than two (2) weeks to go I feel it isn’t enough time. Then I shrug old DNA away and remember I have been provided with excellent tools from which to go forth to think and act for MYSELF!. What better gift is there than that? To no longer be one of many. To be able to be unique. To not act like that circus monkey always clinging his cymbals. To be me and to know that I am on my journey!
I have improved – I can feel it, I can hear it in my voice, I can hear it in my mind and I have seen it with my results. I’m not where I want to be yet, and I’m not setting up un-achievable measures – I will get there when it’s right. My old DNA would have been rushing me to complete X, reach X goal, etc. I have more faith than ever and I will persist and suceeed!
I am directly affected financially by this new normal. Every time I start to get some of that dreaded feeling in my tummy I utilize the law of substitution. This too shall pass, alas it won’t pass in my timeline, it shall pass under God’s timeline. Until then, faith shall keep me going!